ex talking



I dont know when the slip began, when his name replaced mine as your synonym for man
I dont know me, I dont know you, all I can say is that your apart of who.. I am
we grew together for so long
you helped me, made me, created me
and brang me up strong.
it doesnt matter how far I go in life
all the agony happiness and strife
I can find a wife, turn into someone Im not, but Ill still be able to look back at all the battles
Ive fought and know that we still grew together for a long long time, I can take that as a sign
I can ignore it - you can store it
you can write it - I can fight it
you can yell it - but that still wont sell it.
deep down inside Ill know the truth about who I am and what Ive become, studio or slum,
home or on the run professional or amateur, it all comes back to her, and the influence she
had Im not sure, whether Im happy or sad at this departure.
In the past few years Ive become detached and unabashed, and lately the interest is latent
because Im complacent but why is it when I know you're not there, thats when I cant
decide if I care.
I know I dont, I know I wont, ever go back, I know I cant, have that, because of all I lack
or all you claim I do, I cant be who
you want me to, be. Its not me, it cant be, all about what you want to see, in me or
all my hyped up theoretical potentail projectivity
I am who I say I am, you cant make into the image of that other man, scheme and plan
tears of remorse as I sail off course
I can find out what IM all about, or I can sell out and become what YOU think Im all about
I may have been the ideal years ago but Im not the same kid you found underneath the show,
I put out.
I clowned around I covorted around town and fronted with the best of the crowd
I pretended long enough, and you knew who it was underneath the show of us, I was delirious,
my mind woke up the conciousness, unfurled, I began to look about the world
and understand and comprehend and extend my knowledge, I went to college
I learned and I studied, and worked hard short of coming home bruised and bloodied
I realized my potential and even though I may have not lived up to it, I came closer than most
who dont even realize it they hide it, dont go inside it, dont provide it, with the nourishment its needs,
they bash it down until that too starts to bleed but thats what you want now, fake smile, fake
attitude, denial, of who he is just to make you smile see his fake attractivenes, theories of who he is
what Ive become doesnt matter, I can embelish and flatter, and make sure you like me better
I can pretend Im interested in, with the time Ive invested in,
I can become judgemental blast down everyone who doesnt pretend to live in a temple


whats wrong with that, people are different, not everyone is like you, or can be true to themselves like
you, can pretend like you, can deny like you, can cry like you, smile like you, be with you, stare at you,
or care for you, I know its true, I can still be there for you, but under those circumstances who would want to?


its not exactly fair


So its time to move on, Ive got my release, in my mind the link has deceased, Ive increased and moved on, tried to be strong,
moved beyond, seen through the con, and the glitter, and the facsimilie, but Ill never forget you, after all, you are me.